Armory filk gone bad

Post date: Feb 12, 2011 10:12:1 PM

I'm Just a Submission

(With apologies to Dave Frishberg)

{Woof! You sure gotta climb a lotta steps to get to this Laurel office here in the SCA! But I wonder who that sad little scrap of paper is?}

I'm just a submission,

Yes, I'm only a submission,

And I'm sitting here while Laurel’s fishin’.

Well, it's a long, long journey

To the College of Arms,

It's a long, long wait

While I'm showing my charms,

But I know I'll be registered someday...

At least I hope and beg for permission,

But today I'm still a submission.

{Gee, submission, you certainly have a lot of patience and courage!}

{Well I got *this* far. When I started, I wasn't even a *submission* - I was just an idea. Some guy back home decided he wanted a snazzy device to paint on his shield, so he called his local herald and she said, "You're right, there ought to be a device." Then she sat down and drew me out and introduced me to Asterisk, and I became a submission. And I'll remain a submission until they decide to make me a registered device.}

I'm just a submission,

Yes I'm only a submission,

And I got this far without opposition.

Well now I'm stuck in committee

And I sit here and wait

While a few key heralds

Discuss and debate

Whether they should

Let me be a device...

Oh how I hope and pray for recognition,

But today I am still just a submission.

{Listen to those heralds arguing! Is all that discussion and debate about you?}

{Yes. I'm one of the lucky ones. Most ideas never even get this far. I hope they decide to report on me favorably, otherwise I may die.}

{"Die?"}

{Yeah: returned for conflict or a rules violation. Oooh! But it looks like I'm gonna pass Kingdom. Now I go to the College of Arms and they discuss me.}

{If they decide "no", what happens?}

{Then I resubmit a new device and the whole thing starts all over again.}

{Oh no!}

{Oh yes!}

I'm just a submission,

Yes I'm only a submission,

And if the College says I’m in good condition,

Well then I'm off to Wreath Queen o’ Arms

Where I'll wait in a line

With a lot of other devices

For Laurel to sign.

And if he signs me then I'll be registered...

Oh, how I hope I survive the inquisition,

But today I am just a submission.

{You mean even if the whole College says you should be a law, the Laurel King of Arms can still say no?}

{Yes, that's called a "return". If Laurel returns me, I have to either appeal or resubmit back at the College of Heralds, and they decide on me again, and by that time it's...}

{By that time a long time has passed! It's not easy to become registered, is it?}

If you listen to your herald it is!

But how I hope I don’t have to use ammunition,

But today I am still just a submission!

{He signed you, device! Now you're registered!}

{Oh yes!}