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Armory filk gone bad

posted Feb 12, 2011, 2:12 PM by Jennifer Smith
I'm Just a Submission
(With apologies to Dave Frishberg)

{Woof! You sure gotta climb a lotta steps to get to this Laurel office here in the SCA! But I wonder who that sad little scrap of paper is?}

I'm just a submission,
Yes, I'm only a submission,
And I'm sitting here while Laurel’s fishin’.
Well, it's a long, long journey
To the College of Arms,
It's a long, long wait
While I'm showing my charms,
But I know I'll be registered someday...
At least I hope and beg for permission,
But today I'm still a submission.

{Gee, submission, you certainly have a lot of patience and courage!}

{Well I got *this* far. When I started, I wasn't even a *submission* - I was just an idea. Some guy back home decided he wanted a snazzy device to paint on his shield, so he called his local herald and she said, "You're right, there ought to be a device." Then she sat down and drew me out and introduced me to Asterisk, and I became a submission. And I'll remain a submission until they decide to make me a registered device.}

I'm just a submission,
Yes I'm only a submission,
And I got this far without opposition.
Well now I'm stuck in committee
And I sit here and wait
While a few key heralds
Discuss and debate
Whether they should
Let me be a device...
Oh how I hope and pray for recognition,
But today I am still just a submission.

{Listen to those heralds arguing! Is all that discussion and debate about you?}
{Yes. I'm one of the lucky ones. Most ideas never even get this far. I hope they decide to report on me favorably, otherwise I may die.}
{"Die?"}
{Yeah: returned for conflict or a rules violation. Oooh! But it looks like I'm gonna pass Kingdom. Now I go to the College of Arms and they discuss me.}
{If they decide "no", what happens?}
{Then I resubmit a new device and the whole thing starts all over again.}
{Oh no!}
{Oh yes!}

I'm just a submission,
Yes I'm only a submission,
And if the College says I’m in good condition,
Well then I'm off to Wreath Queen o’ Arms
Where I'll wait in a line
With a lot of other devices
For Laurel to sign.
And if he signs me then I'll be registered...
Oh, how I hope I survive the inquisition,
But today I am just a submission.

{You mean even if the whole College says you should be a law, the Laurel King of Arms can still say no?}
{Yes, that's called a "return". If Laurel returns me, I have to either appeal or resubmit back at the College of Heralds, and they decide on me again, and by that time it's...}
{By that time a long time has passed! It's not easy to become registered, is it?}

If you listen to your herald it is!
But how I hope I don’t have to use ammunition,
But today I am still just a submission!

{He signed you, device! Now you're registered!}
{Oh yes!}